Benny & the Jets

The day I had long awaited for met me in unexpected ways that left me spinning with excitement and trepidation. Pure to form, I moved through my Enneagram Triad 1-4-7 in both light and shadow.

After the loss of my beloved canine companion and work partner, Charlie, I wasn’t sure I wanted to open my heart to another dog. My husband was pretty sure he wasn’t. My grief for Charlie was fierce, especially on the heels of an already heartbreaking year that included the loss of my Mother followed by my sister’s cancer diagnosis.

Today was her birthday and our new dog’s “gotcha day.” I leaned in, as I had tried to do all year, toward love, courageous joy and purpose driven adventure, the same values that drove me to reach the finish line writing The Wholehearted Child. These driving forces often had me feeling a bit overwhelmed in the process but I set my intention on the word “diligence” and kept going.

I was nervous but determined to manage my anxiety. I moved to my 7 space and reached for Elton John on my playlist. I invited my less enthusiastic travel mates to sing along to “Benny and the Jets” as I shouted ‘Road Trip!’

We were on our way to rescue a sweet “CavaPoo” who was meeting us in Nashville, about 3 hours from our home. I had persuaded my husband to drive so that I could hold and ‘bond’ with my new friend. About an hour into our drive our car’s engine jetted suddenly and then stopped running as we were traveling at a rate of 70 miles per hour. Thankfully, my skilled husband got us to safety without incident as my heart pounded in shock and disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! After 6 weeks of waiting and planning, we’ve just come to a full stop?” Torn about what to do next, we looked at one another in stress and frustration as our teenage daughter noted the tension and keenly exited the car at the rest stop where we had landed. We had a small window of time to meet our party in Nashville but I convinced my husband to head toward home instead of risking further disaster.

On our way we were forced to pull over two more times. I was holding both my breath and the arm of the car door. I had wanted today to be perfect and like a classic Type 1 with a loud Inner Critic, I was sure I had made a mistake along the way. Was this my fault? In my longing for a dog, had I brought this stressful situation upon us? My husband graciously assured me I had not and pressed on toward home.

With so much construction around us, I told my husband to prepare to plow through orange cones and barrels if needed. He was thrilled to have my assistance. We arrived at home and after a big exhale my daughter and I jumped into my car, leaving my husband to figure out his, and headed back to Nashville. We arrived at 2:01, just a minute past the goal. The rescue group leader was handing out dogs to several excited women and their husbands. Finally, we were handed our boy. He was dirty and terrified, smelly and perfect.

We hit Nashville traffic on the way home, barely causing the speedometer to register, as I watched my daughter living out my plan of holding and bonding with our new boy. Meanwhile, I navigated traffic in a thunderstorm as they slept, waking only to my instruction to notice the gorgeous rainbow left behind. My Type 4 heart space felt disappointed and left out but also contented as a mother with recognition that these days are fleeting.

My husband called to check on our progress with an unexpected announcement, “there’s a box for you... I think your books are here!” After a year of dreaming and writing, The Wholehearted Child was ready! It was real and waiting for me at home to hold in my very own hands.

We finally arrived, exhausted and hungry, thinking somehow this all was a dream. The day had not gone as planned but somehow a page had turned toward a new chapter. In my enneagram harmony I had spent the day fighting fear, reaching for joy and noticing unexpected beauty. As I held both my book and my new puppy, “Benny,” I was overcome by the results of my pursued diligence. As I headed for bed I experienced sincere appreciation for all that has come before and renewed hope for all that is yet to be.